Q&A: relationship, art school, life changes & goals


hello it’s Annabelle, welcome to this Q&A I heated up my coffee so I can chat with you but by the time I was done going through all the questions, it’s cold and almost gone. thank you for all the submissions, I asked for some questions in the community tab of CatCreature and I have also copy and pasted the exact wording so you know if it’s your
question, thank you so much for commenting. since I’m an artist and Tyler is an engineer, does it make things difficult because we see the world much differently? I don’t think we see the world too differently. I’ve always wanted to have a life partner that has a different background because we can bring different perspectives to the table. he did art in high school, so he loves visual art and although he’s less creative in the abstract sense, I think he’s very capable and creative in 3d modeling and art that can go hand in hand with programming, so it’s very incredible. what is your take on having a significant other that’s older than you? Tyler and I do have an age gap almost 6
years. our birthday it’s in the same week most of the time I don’t feel it, I’ve always stuck out as a little bit older or more mature and Tyler is… how should I say like.. adaptable? so he changes his energy a lot; my sister can give you… a horoscopic… ….explanation ?? astrological…. explanation, I mean everybody changes a little bit depending on your environment of course. the only times I really noticed an age gap is just the fact that he is older than me so he’s in a different life stage, he is beginning his career, while I’m figuring things out so sometimes I’m like… you know, always uncertain or like turbulent. in our case it’s really helpful for me, so I don’t think that I ruin his life by being the unstable one ? what is the hardest thing going from a regular relationship, where- we lived together every day at one point. now it’s about like.. three months sometimes, would be I guess really long and then right now, I will see him in about three weeks because we will meet up and visit his
Family, but I think the biggest change is after seeing him again, and then coming back to adjust to school life and doing everything on my own, it’s just that period of time, you realize that your normal state of happiness is just always in a different place. it doesn’t mean that you’re sad it just means that that person brings happiness to you I tend to sleep better. in general, my sleeping habits are pretty good because I’ve trained myself on it a lot but it’s very effortless when when I’m with my partner versus by myself. so how do you deal with not having him with you anymore, well.. mmm, you just go about your day and just enjoy your life! as much as you can, with what you’re given and like I’m really lucky to be here at school so I’m focusing on that, Tyler and I actually don’t talk super often and when we do, it’s important how we do, so like we don’t text often because I’m not a texter in general and I think the quality of one’s conversation varies a
lot when it’s like a FaceTime call versus texting, and texting you feel sort of stressed to have to respond you know throughout the day while you’re doing other tasks, but when you’re facetiming you’re allocating that time. it’s a blessing that you get to have instantaneous communication with each
other in that way. one thing that sucks though is when there’s a stressful situation, sometimes I think to myself it sucks that he’s not here to support me, one really dumb thing- this mattress rack is terrible, from Ikea. it buckles, maybe because it’s very moist here and basically it’s always like crashing down so every time somebody touches the bed, it will go BOOM I guess with Tyler, it’s so much easier for him to maneuver the heavy mattress but like one time the whole thing fell down it wasn’t just a few beams, so it was so tiring for me to actually support the mattress with my head and my back, and to pull it up but
like.. I’m realistic, I can’t just sit there and fret and cry like no one is there to help me you had to do yourself so I think of anything it’s a valuable
experience, and when my mom was a single mom, she said that it definitely transformed her as well because when she was married to my biological dad, she was very different than she is today and she said she was less capable. and your best relationship advice? so something that I have experienced
firsthand, but first heard from bubz, was when she said that love is a choice. the feeling that you get- the romantic loving feeling when you’re with somebody or when you first fall in love, those feelings fade. at at times, you do not feel like an ounce of love, like the romantic butterfly, warm love. when you’re living with someone and you pay bills and you talk about stressful things and you’re planning for the future and you’re problem-solving together, that doesn’t mean that you you don’t feel it ever. love is a choice, so sometimes you’ll have to make hard decisions, or sometimes you have to be considerate when you don’t feel that butterfly romantic love, in your head you know, okay I have a commitment to this person there- that should make certain decisions more clear for you and Tyler and I have definitely gone through a lot we’re at a really good place right now it wasn’t always and not that there’s any drama. things happened.. uh and *laughs* people are gonna be so curious I mean with time- first of all I also know everyone wants to know how we met I will talk about it when we do a boyfriend video, I just want it to be very official and to also have him there so we can share together. I just learned a lot about relationships in general. maybe we can talk about together, Tyler and I, in our video someday. are we ever gonna get more Tyler cam ? perhaps. just that he lives at home with my family at the moment, I don’t know. he kind of goes to work, and comes home so I’m not too sure what kind of content there is. maybe of my family members? we’ll keep that in mind. and now moving on to the school stuff- any advice for someone seriously considering art school? so first of all, I don’t think it’s too late for you to consider it because talking to many of my friends
here at school, half of them if not actually more said that they did not decide to apply to art school until it was time to apply to
college. don’t worry about lateness or how ahead you are compared to other
people applying and just.. don’t think about society for one second if you’re seriously considering art
school though so my advice would be: you should see University as a tool for you to become someone you want to be when you enter the career field. we need to have aspirations right, if only when we were taught in high school- most curriculums are structured so that college seems like the final destination and more and more people are opening up about how after they receive their
degrees- even their graduate degrees, they return home with no motivation and they feel lost because they actually have zero passion for what they studied for. especially deciding your majors, I think the most helpful thing would be to look at careers that you are inspired by or that you can picture yourself at- and of course this would change, like definitely it’s a starting point I guess to like see that and then see what skills you need in your portfolio. for me that’s how I decided on going into textiles, I wanted to work in some sort of apparel
field but I’m not as interested in construction, and I realized I love the materiality and the fabrication textiles is a whole other complicated
conversation right now. how do you go forward with a new assignment? I think everybody initially gets stuck when you’re met with a world of possibilities like on a blank page, of course it helps because sometimes they give you a prompt but maybe you hate that prompt. in this last year I’ve been much better about
committing to my ideas, and not starting over. first I think it’s to brainstorm, to entertain some ideas even if you cannot initially imagine it, don’t expect to come up with an inspiration that will give you this glorious final vision all at once because things change, it comes to you in the process, especially for art you will learn as you converse with it as you create, and that’s one of the most fulfilling parts is that it’s a transformative art. and at the times where back then, I scrapped everything I start over it’s because I settled. so afraid that I would run out of time, or everybody seemed ahead of me, so I just ran with this one idea that seemed achievable and safe and I ended up realizing ah, this.. literally.. I dread doing this, I’m going to start over. be ready to be wrong. no one is perfect … who cares about that saying though? like no one is perfect. it’s more like, no one needs to be perfect… to enjoy life and do great things. how do you manage to plan your time with assignments? I’m gonna mash that what the question of like how do you plan your days or your time. so I am a planner I’ve always been a planner I have the compulsive need to make lists or charts.. plan everything in the instant I need it so that’s why I don’t normally use planners or have very structured bullet journals where I do it ahead of time, and then I fill in the template. it’s actually more of a cathartic thing for me to calm my brain down, and to um.. brain? brain? brain. ..yeah it’s a cathartic process to just put it here so I can look at it . I fully support planners, bullet journals, those look brilliant and maybe someday I can get to that place but my mind is super chaotic and let me show you by this. I don’t know if this is the right journal. oh.. oh yes. I do not use nice planners because I feel like it’s so nice that I’m afraid to ruin it to this day I’ve never really even finished one that is nice and beautiful because in my head I’m like.. I am not worthy!! so because of that I use very expendable
notebooks so this one i got for free- not that it’s cheap just because someone
gave it to me for free but for the most part this is what I get for myself that costs $1 I don’t get mad when people ask me for paper in the middle of class I’m just like okay sure, rip it out but you got to rip out the edge yourself because I am NOT your mom. I do not go in order and I rotate it whenever I want so some pages are upside-down. if you ever find that you cannot write on one side because you’re left-handed, or you’re right-handed, just flip the book over and you will feel so comfortable also when you’re in class, you can pretend like you’re taking notes and then when the teachers not looking you flip the book, and you have another notebook right here so one notebook is actually two notebooks. I have two starts, I have certain layouts that I like to gear to so this one is what I call my “two-week thing” and then sometimes I have my monthly little things where I just place a bunch of numbers down just so I can fathom my days. here’s where I brainstorm for class here’s another kind of two-week thing here’s another one of those number things and then there are other times where I actually create real calendars with room to write, it’s just for that moment like I rarely go back to it maybe on accident, I’ll be like oh hey! it’s been five days, it feels so good to cross out like seven eight nine ten or something on the calendar. how do you deal with anxiety over school? with all the experience I’ve had, I realized that it really comes down to a few causes whether it’s fear of humiliation, fear of failure, peer judgment, the need to do well and to succeed wouldn’t be there if you didn’t feel like you’re being watched but on one hand it’s a blessing that you can be surrounded by other students. really, see it as a resource, I’m sorry of the people that you’re in class with make it a very toxic environment because that’s.. it sucks it’s unfair but even when I’m completely secure around my entire group and I love everyone, there’s still the feeling of expectations and sometimes it’s self-inflicted like, self sabotaging. attack those problems because your anxiety is a reaction and your body is signaling to you. when it doesn’t get better, how do I deal with ir when it’s so bad ? in my building, it’s a very old building… college building, ah it’s set on a hill so it’s a very interesting building where you enter on the fourth floor at the top of one street but the first floor is at the bottom of a different street and all along here there are random staircases and elevators and hallways and there’s one particular segment of stairs that is a very narrow spiral black staircase and it’s normally in pitch blackness- you can turn on the light, there’s a switch but very very low foot traffic in there. I always love it because it allows you to
cut through, so you do have to exert more energy because they are
steep stairs and you don’t have you don’t have to walk all the way around but those stairs! I go to those stairs. that is my safe space and I sit at the top of those stairs in pitch blackness. sometimes the light from the third floor echoes up so you can kind of see. I’ve even like written a poem while sitting there and when you’re there, I can also hear people walking down the hallway and it’s weird cus I feel like I’m separate and I’m in this place and nobody knows it which is one feeling for me but then I’m like, oh but I’m here in the school and I’m present, and that’s probably my classmate walking to and from the weaving room it’s a nice break from my anxiety and those times and it definitely helps me calm. and talking about my major, if I can change it would I? I’ve been thinking about that a lot. so on the one hand I always say I’m.. I do not regret learning about textiles because I love textiles. the history of textiles, I admire it so much. I can sit here and talk about string and how like the string revolution should be as big as the Stone Age and just all of that because it enabled us to make tools like you can’t get the tool if you couldn’t have that twine and you couldn’t hunt back then in our- yeah. so- sorry textiles will always be a part of me in that way but in terms of majoring, it has shifted my opinions on a lot of things and my career goals have changed a lot. if anything I would go back to school and get another degree because I love my textile degree and I love the things I’ve learned. it just
sucks that I no longer want to do what I wanted to do. which was be in corporate textiles. sometimes I think, I would be equally as happy being an animation student because the very first time I wanted to go to art school it was all about animation and I wanted to go to cal arts and I loved visual storytelling and I love video, screenplay, filmography lalala but I ended up thinking about fashion more. I still want to create clothing but it’s definitely for different reasons. what are my plans. alright so- I have plans. they’ve changed a lot so if I had to confess.. I have NOO idea what I’m doing and it’s okay it’s okay. I kind of know what I want to do and I’m going to try it out but because I’m not really looking to find a corporate job anymore, I’m like ..um okay.. I don’t think I’m gonna return to California just yet I want to be friends with New England a little longer and when it’s time to go home I will go home. I have this desire to try making my site more legit, have the time to devote to that, so that would make me I guess.. a small business owner, an independent artist- sounds scary like I’m gonna be an artist! I’m very much a stranger to other mediums at the moment and I want to have a time to just try
it and to develop them, and study it even if it’s on my own and that just takes so much time and energy so I only hope that I have the self-discipline and the focus and rigor to do that. I don’t think I can have an apartment and a studio with my income so literally like I will be living in a home office kind of
situation and yes I will be continuing YouTube. I think it will feel natural when it’s time for CatCreature to say goodbye and right now, I think there’s so much more that I would love to share so I- I will update you on what it’s like when, maybe I’m out of college and everything like that. I’ve been feeling very vulnerable in these last month’s because I’m so unsure of what I’m doing at the moment like I went from three years of feeling
like I will end up in a corporate environment suddenly nothing is for sure. I’m very lucky to be able to do that though because not everyone has supportive parents for one, so thank you so much for the chance to chase after my dreams and my desires and not making me feel discouraged or afraid. but a part of me just intrinsically believes that if I really put my heart into something and I work at it as much as I can with all my energy that I just can’t fail. that’s just growing up, you can be sure about something, you can be so sure about something and then it’s like nope! I can’t snap by the way I’m gonna be living with one my friends. if you’re wondering like well, how does Tyler feel about that? we agreed that this is the time for me to experience living on my own or living with a friend and if it’s anytime it’s right now. if we mean to be together forever after that, then that’s the time for it. at the moment he’s with my family too so if I went to live with him it would be like me living at home. that’s not what I want right after graduation. that would literally make me into a couch
potato now life questions- how do you balance vlogging and capturing moments while still being fully present it’s hard. it makes you second-guess some of your actions like oh! should I vlog this? so I can be very present when I’m
filming, it’s actually how to be present when I’m not filming what are things that you do to calm you down ? maybe it’s because I talk to the camera a lot and I edit which takes like 10-15 hours, I’m very anti technology I should have mentioned this for the first question maybe Tyler would benefit from someone
who’s more tech savvy or loves to talk about tech more but I’m not really what do i do when I calm down, I literally do not go my phone, I can leave the house without my phone. how do you check the time? wear a watch what sucks though is when I leave for class and I forget my phone and it’s a five hour long class and I’m so bored during break I really regret that- I don’t actually
intentionally leave without my phone sometimes but I do because that’s how
little I go on my phone anything that can make me more present in just the world in front of me because I keep reminding myself sometimes that even like 50 years ago, people were not exposed to this amount of stimuli and nowadays we see so much it’s like no wonder we get anxious because we see and absorb so much information so we need slow down time. I just watched a TED talk earlier today about tech advancement and our pace of life speeding up and how it’s a double-edged sword funny thing is everything is made so convenient and fast, but we always feel like we don’t have enough time like we always feel like we’re running out of time which is the opposite because all of these
advancements were made for us to save time but yet it’s reverse psychology and it sucks I can make a whole video about that but I’m I’m a very unplugged person I do not charge my phone for two to
three days at a time because it does not run out of battery and I don’t keep my charger by my bed, I keep it under my table cuz the cord’s very short so when I charge it, I put it under my table and then when it’s not charged, it’s wherever it is and then I don’t charge number three days until it’s like 10 percent.. do you think of yourself as a human being or a human doing? I don’t know why I just thought of human doodoo. I think of myself as.. a human being. things I value in my life the most are the state of love and happiness, being in the company of other people, I love being helpful to people, being
supportive, even when I do things like I love learning things, I feel like I’m being someone who is challenging themselves to learn new skills while I’m doing things. can you talk about sustainable fashion choices and also veganism? there’s no short easy answer, I have planned to make a whole other video
about sustainable fashion or just my quitting fast fashion so I look out for that it’s no easy thing. you’re not just changing what you buy, you’re literally changing your habits. I’m trying to figure it out still myself and right now a lot of people have eco anxiety, talking about emissions of travel, it’s so complicated because travel is one of the most fulfilling things to me and every time though when you use transportation like what can you
do? research is key and sharing our different ideas I read one I think on the Guardian ? somebody buys offsets every time they go on vacations as it neutralizes their impact. my philosophy to it is I will be mindful of it and I continue to research these values that I have and I think over time it’s all about slowly transitioning my lifestyle and shifting it to someone- like I still
have not gone camping once in my life and if I am to be more experienced
driven and in touch with nature, I want to. maybe I will explore more of my local nature and take less long-distance trips over time. but it’s not like- Oh guys, this is bad, this is good: change! no matter how nervous we are or how urgent the state of the world is, you just need to be kind and encouraging to each other because real change comes from inspiring. that brings me into talking about choosing go vegan and my diet changes was sort of inspired by a friend of mine, Lanna and I’ve talked about her, she is the co-CEO of impact everything and they do a lot so you can follow them on Instagram and check them out. around the time I decided to try being a flexitarian, if you remember that that was a time where she was first going full-out vegan and we were just talking about it and I also watched some documentaries talking about the sheer amount of water it takes and how the world cannot continue to feed everybody because there’s just not enough resources to produce meat. sometimes I miss eating meat and dairy of course because they’re tied to my cultural identity all the comfort foods I loved growing up but that’s the thing about diets, is that changes don’t work on this in your heart, you believe that it’s a permanent thing. a couple times Tyler and I went dairy-free for two weeks and it was mainly to help us not eat junk
food it was SO hard because you’re literally
counting down the days until you’re “free” you know so that’s why it doesn’t work unless you’re like I’m changing my mind because of these values and.. living in alignment with them so maybe it started from me being a flexitarian, and people gave me shit for it, they’re like ‘there’s no such thing as a flexitarian’ uhhh like it’s just like okay, back off like I can be whatever I want to be I just never purchased meat whenever I could and the only time I ate meat was when I was with my family or when we went to nice restaurants and there was nothing vegetarian, I still ordered meat when I’m out like
when we went to dim sum, there was shrimp inside the buns, I was like alright but now, it’s actually a very natural thing in me I’m just like no, I don’t eat it I don’t eat it. but back then it was more self-control, so it happens little by little and even though people were doubtful whenever I was like ‘I’m flexitarian’ I just wanted to be flexitarian! I didn’t want the pressure of saying oh I’m vegetarian. then I became vegetarian and then a couple months ago I decided to try cutting out dairy bit by bit so I considered that’s where I am now. I’m a flexi-vegan if you will. right? and at the most it’s like, when I’m really desperate for food, for choir rehearsals on the weekends, someone always brings in doughnut holes sometimes I would skip breakfast .. and I just really really need that doughnut hole when I went home for the holidays, I told myself I will have the chocolate cookies I love because it’s the first Christmas where my diet has changed, I need to have it a few more times to cherish and slowly say goodbye. and it works for me that way. I didn’t get Krispy Kreme because I didn’t happen upon one so I didn’t get it but I still haven’t said my goodbye to Krispy Kreme either and I will have Krispy Kreme sometime but it’s a personal journey so don’t hound people on it because of all the people that were pressuring me about it three years ago, like in the comments and stuff it’s like you do nothing for the movement if anything you just harm it so much credit goes to my friend Lanna because she is just inspiring and she was a resource and I had questions and she would
happily be supportive. did my cats’ attitude change after I became vegan? I don’t think so, if anything my cats at home don’t even care about me anymore because they are just like departed from me and loyal cats of my parents who live in our permanent residents of the house pumkin could not care less about me Toby was like all right, I like you but you know you’re gonna abandon us the only thing though that has been nice is that because I don’t prepare any meat, I don’t need to worry about them stealing my food. when they walk even to my finished bowl of food, I’m like yeah sniff it all you want you’re not gonna want any of that. bambi does take an occasional interest in my meat- my fake veggie grounds because it has this very convincing umami smell. silly question! I love this what animal would be cutest if scaled down to the size of a mouse I gave this a long and hard think. it was like all morning I was thinking about this and it was hard because I kept imagining all these animals to this size and I kept getting freaked out. I finally came to the conclusion that orcas would be so adorable if they were mouse- sized . if you have your suggestions please tell me
in the comments because I would love to know but I feel like most animals scaled down will just seem very scary like imagine a tiny Puma.. tiny Puma. I don’t know, it’s just like proportions I guess so orcas and penguins, I think would be so cute. why is the closet door in your bedroom always open? first, I want to say I closed it for you at the beginning of this when I was prepping my room. I leave it open because- well it’s twofold. that stupid shoe rack Tyler got is really flimsy. sometimes if I close it wrong, it’s going to half fall down and I have to fix it because I don’t really like looking at it either it’s like an eyesore to see that white plastic rack it’s very ugly but the second reason is because my closet is much deeper than the width of the door it’s actually double, so you can go inside there’s not much, but you go inside and I used to have drawers in there I just leave it open so I can walk to and from. what Harry Styles shows are you going to? so I will be going to his one concert in Madison Square Garden very excited. our seats are not the best but I’m really excited anyways because Madison Square Garden has a screen!! so I can see his face okay cus when we paid all that money to sit in the last row in Boston, two years ago, we bought them on a third-party site so it’s our fault no- we were in the second to last row, so I guess it’s slightly better- not really and the Boston wang theater did not have
any screens or cameras so Harry was a grain of rice. he was dressed in yellow, so he was a tiny yellow grain of rice and I couldn’t even hear him either! because just like I blame the concert hall. it’s not really made for that, it’s not made for Harry Styles concerts if anybody is going to that one, let me know I would love to say hi. do you think that LGBTQI and religion can go together? yes I do. I go to a nondenominational
church and were more liberal than some that I know of and especially last year, there is a woman who joined our church because she identified as a woman after
I don’t know, like 70 years . she was kicked out of her church and she came to find us. the details are escaping me but I still just remember how moving it was and how special it was that day where she joined and became a member. those are my beliefs I think that they . are there any vloggers you can recommend? I was excited for this question because yes I have been watching a lot of new
vloggers since the last time we caught up. so my two long-term relationships have been Bubz and Rhiannon and they have their own vlog channel and it’s just a very comforting like.. things from my childhood. because I’ve been watching them since middle school, and they mean a lot to me. their life has changed a lot it’s crazy they’re both parents, and their insight
on their parent life has helped me. new people that I’ve started watching since
the end of last year, Cheyenne Barton, really loved listening
to her thoughts I love her voice Savannah Brown, very inspiring writer, I really want to read her novel and I was so tickled to know that she also watched some of my videos I want to meet all these people. I technically met bubz, I met her for like a good few seconds and I met Tim and her son, I met your son!! and also Apple cheeks, dear Tiffany, very talented illustrator
and we connected off YouTube (*instagram), that’s how I discovered her videos and things like that she joined more recently and Jenny from wear I live, I also like to listen to Jenny talk. there’s a very interesting inflection to her voice, I think I pay a lot attention to speech. I feel like I’m missing some.. but Oh! Amy, Amy Lee. advice on camera equipment for a beginner vlogger? nowadays if you have a smartphone, it’s so capable of filming that you don’t have to worry about getting an official
camera. ten years ago, the trend was having a DSLR. I remember when I first joined six, seven years ago, you have to have a Canon- what was it called like t4i? or something, or else you’re not legit and now it’s the g7x I always link down my equipment down below if you’re interested. use your phone of course it’s not as stable so you have to be more mindful not to make it too nauseating when you’re walking you don’t need a legit tripod . I stack things very precariously when I film whether it’s books or mugs- are your friend. I used to think I need a nice mic for when I do chitchat videos, because this camera- it’s not great but that’s something I’ve realized. people don’t expect as much unless it’s like so bad I guess then I understand. best piece of advice you’ve ever gotten or learned? something my mom has told me a couple
times is to take care of yourself. before you can go out into the world and make waves of change and impact others, all of that you have to make sure that you are your best because I always feel like I’m being watched. I guess that’s what it’s like if you vlogs, like there’s always gonna be criticism which there is. so it’s not about trying to tune yourself to be someone who gets no criticism, that’s impossible when I try to do that I just fell flat. I wasn’t myself on camera. people who take care of themselves and are in a good place do not feel the need to like go around hurting other people. this is knowing for me firsthand that is not easy and it’s not easy to experience self-love and like.. even this week.. I don’t even think until like yesterday really, did I actually feel the sense of relief like.. I’m okay! many times I wake up and the first thing
that flushes into my head is a feeling that I’m not doing enough or I’m not doing good enough or I’m not good enough if I keep letting those thoughts control
me, it prevents me from doing anything. it petrifies you. I tend to care maybe too much sometimes and I want to carry other people’s emotional burdens and responsibilities. it doesn’t mean that you have to be 100 percent dependent on yourself that’s that’s a different thing. she’ll just remind me like, focus on yourself, don’t think about what other people want for you, they should spend their time thinking about themselves before telling other people what they should be doing. that brings me into what am i proud of myself for- I can’t believe that.. when I read this question yesterday, I literally couldn’t really think of anything and that’s really screwed up. like I need to really I need to work on myself and give myself more credit. even if you watch all my content it’s hard to really know me. people are very surprised by what I tell them about my upbringing and it’s very easy to assume that my
parents seen one way because of how they are in their 26 minute video. a lot has changed, and that includes me. and I’m really proud because I used to have a lot of ugliness in my character. in the last five years, I’ve really turned
myself around and try my best to focus that hurt into compassion, how it can be constructive. but I still remember the very thoughts I had when I was a hurtful person. I definitely know I’ve come a long way. sometimes you forget. even when I was in elementary school, it was just like.. stuff with my biological dad, what he did, and how I felt when we did live with him, and when I lived in China, and I know exactly why and how I came to be like that, and I can’t- I could only imagine how other people become how they are and.. anyway. I have a long way to go and I.. I’m proud of myself that I can even be proud of myself so that’s a conversation for another day. how old are you, really I don’t know I am 21 turning 22 I feel like about a hundred sometimes when I’m around certain people my age because it’s hard for me to fit in! I know a lot of people in my age are similar- William and I get along very well because we both have old souls I guess however he’s a lot more tuned into … pop culture. I had to think !? like memes and stuff and it could be because he’s on Twitter, and I just.. still don’t really…I have not figured out Twitter yet do you see yourself sometime in the
future married? being a mother, cooking, and your life depending on other schedules. yes I do, it could be because I was a younger
child in a divorced family that I’ve always wanted to be a homemaker and I craved that. I realized later on that having a husband or children doesn’t fulfill you the same way that I thought would in my mind and that’s why I wanted to bring up, watching rhiannon and bubz being moms, seeing the really frustrating and downsides to pregnancy and motherhood and everything has made me embrace this time now to live my life as an independent person before I have kids and when I’m ready to have people depend on me, I will be ready. so when I know, I know. but I know for sure that I want kids. I’m very fulfilled by that. when I hang with my loved ones I don’t really need to be entertained, it’s just about like being there and I could keep you company. with my sister and mom they’re a lot more impatient, it’s less enjoyable for them if there isn’t something in it for everyone and it’s really obvious sometimes that I’m just like.. I asked and they say okay- I’ll do it they don’t WANT to, so it really hurts my feelings, but I understand that we’re different people. my mom wanted to go shopping, I don’t
really go shopping at malls anymore but I would just walk around with her for like three hours. I will keep you company. It reminds me of how my dad (my stepdad)
is more like. when he took me to swim practice for the brief time I did swimming, or for the brief time I did tumbling, he would sit there and watch me. when he took me to art class, he would wait for me outside. but then for my mom, it was more like- I would drop you off, I will go entertain myself at the mall and then I will pick you up. there is no wrong in being like that it’s just their personality so shout out to my dad, I’m very grateful for all the times
he just kept my sister and me company even if it’s something he wasn’t
interested in. I remember, I will always remember that. it was definitely necessary, like that love really went to my heart. alright. that is it for this video, as you see it’s dark now cuzs the sun is about to set and it’s 4 p.m. because I never really do Q and A’s, I really took this seriously as you could
see for the rest of the day I’m going to work on my homework due tomorrow.. that have a started.. I hope to see very soon. so have a good rest of your day. bye!

100 Replies to “Q&A: relationship, art school, life changes & goals”

  1. – Relationship –
    00:23 Do you & Tyler see the world much differently, you being an artist and him an engineer?
    00:55 What's your age gap and take on having a significant other who's older than you?
    01:49 Hardest thing going from regular to long distance relationship with Tyler?
    02:37 How do you deal with not having your bf living with you anymore?
    04:16 Your best relationship advice?
    05:46 Will we be getting any more Tyler Cam in videos?

    – School –
    06:03 Advice for someone whos seriously considering art school but unsure?
    07:41 How do you go forward with a new assignment?
    08:59 How do you manage your time with assignments/deadlines? Do you have planner or something else?
    11:35 How do you deal with anxiety over school?
    14:01 Would you change your major If you could now ? And if so , to what ?
    15:22 Any plans after you graduate risd?
    16:47 After you graduate and get a job, will you keep doing Youtube?

    – Life –
    18:27 How do you balance vlogging & capturing moments while also being fully present in that moment?
    18:42 Things you do to calm down?
    20:39 Do you think of yourself as a human being or a human doing?
    21:13 Can you talk about sustainable fashion choices?
    + Why you chose to go vegan & any tips for someone who wants to as well?
    26:06 Did your cats' attitude change after you became vegan?
    26:52 What animal would be cutest if scaled down to the size of a Mouse?
    27:34 Why is the closet door in your bedroom in your apartment always open?
    28:16 What harry styles shows are you going to?
    29:08 Do you think lgbtqi & religion can go together?
    29:48 Are there any vloggers that you can recommend?
    31:09 Advice on camera equipment for a beginner vlogger?綽
    32:05 Best piece of advice you've ever gotten?
    33:45 What are you proud of yourself for?
    35:26 How old are you?
    35:59 Do you see yourself in the future married, being a mother, your life depending on others' schedule?

  2. i definitely feel like relationships where theres an age gap, the younger person being wiser beyond their years and the older individual in the relationship have this more innocent and childish endearing personality balances out the age gap

  3. I really love hearing your thoughts and reading them you are very articulate. and we love similar YouTubers. I think you will also love Hitomi Mochizuki, Alyssa Lau and Lavendaire

  4. ah so lovely to hear you chat! i dont know why it feels especially fulfilling but it does thank you for your insights, i always love listening to peoples' points of views, especially how they view and experience life <3 looking forward to more!

  5. Im a junior in college right now, and I realized that I majored in the wrong thing. Financially, I cant afford to change my major to what I want to do, so Im hoping the graduate programs I apply to will accept my kinda unrelated major. Its hard realizing you dont want to do what youve majored in. Its really weird, but Im glad other people are going through it too.

  6. Hey Annabelle, I really love your in-depth q&as, it feels like a one sided conversation with a close friend/sister haha I'm currently in a very messy and confusing stage in my life too. I graduated last year and have no idea what I'm doing anymore. As you say, the plan is never as it seemed a year ago, I thought I would've had things sorted out by now. But I'm transforming into that couch potato you mentioned it's hard to direct your life after graduating especially if things don't go the way you hoped. I look forward to your future vlogs, they're always the highlight of my days best of luck with the rest of college, you're doing amazing x

  7. After watching this video, I feel like its almost like a book something timeless to be seen rn and relating to it in one way and again at a later time and getting something new then. Thanks for letting us get to know more of who you are Annabelle!

  8. My partner and I are long distance, almost 6 years apart (hes older), and our birthdays are 5 days away! That made me smile because I totally feel you. Lovely seeing your face as always

  9. This q+a was really reassuring to me in a way? This notion of being able to question things and be unsure even in college in terms of career goals is comforting because I'm a senior about to go to college for art and there's this sense of impending change and needing to be certain about everything and the reality is that we do grow and change and it's not so much a matter of accepting that, but of having room to do so. Wow bit of a rant but thank you for sharing a part of your journey as a human being! I love your vlogs!

  10. I didn't even know you and Tyler had an age gap :0 you guys are so so sweet and it clearly works for y'all despite the age difference. You two have a great balance between y'all

    Edit: omg if you became an animation student I would flip out!!! I'm an animation student in community college and it's so nice to watch you as a student grow and give your advice to others

  11. I cannot stress it enough how grateful I am for these videos. They feel so genuine, like I'm there in your room talking to you. If I'm ever feeling sad talks like these turn my mood around so quick, and suddenly I am present and happy again. Remember that we will always be here for you. Thank you so so much Annabelle歹~

  12. 04:16 is definitely relevant. I've been with my significant for sixteen years. He's a year older than I am. We live together. No, we aren't married yet.

  13. I love how honest you are with how your relationship with Tyler isnt always good! We always see social media and you guys are cute! I think people are hunching that Tyler got with you right after breaking a long term relationship with another asian girl. Itll be interesting to know how did he feel it was right to move on? Im in the same boat… I just recently broke up with someone but I am already interested in someone I just met. We are in open communication and we are just taking things slowly!

  14. watching this video made me feel a lot closer to you, and it made me realize how similar we are. thank you for doing it in the first place, answering personal questions its very difficult in general, but especially when you are putting it out onto the world for everyone to see, so thank you

  15. this is really special, annabelle! hearing you articulate your thoughts helped me put my feelings when i would watch your videos into words: the way you share your self and life in these videos really emanates love and kindness and groundedness and your truth (and maybe they're all the same thing!), and i see the work and growth and striving towards those things it took(/takes/will continue to take) to get there. so thank you for sharing and growing with us in that way, and just like, bringing light in the process. i'm like 10 years older than you but also am really glad that younger folks watching you get to have that in their lives/youtube diet(!).

  16. I love you Annabelle! 29:08, I don't see many people on this platform be so open and practice their religion in a peaceful way. You were brave by making what you believe in clear. It's healing to find out there are people like you. Coming from a background of terrible family members and laws that punish people like me,it really does bring warmth to my heart to know there are more loving and peaceful religious people out there. I don't see it enough here. Gives me hope for the future!

  17. i've been watching your videos for years but through this q&a i feel like im starting to know you all over again :') thank you annabelle for letting us know more of you. you are an inspiration and thank you for being real 劾 i love u always and we are all proud of you.

  18. Dear Friend,
    I took a short break from watching you videos. And now that I'm back, I feel the growth that you have gone through. I don't know what kind of feeling this is but it makes my heart warm seeing you in a better place.

    Much love, Niev

  19. Ahhh! I always feel so happy & fulfilled when i watch your videos. I know that i may just be a random person on the internet, but I admire a lot of the opinions, thoughts, & values you have. I just knew this was going to be a great video even before clicking~ I felt very connected when you talked about how you've changed & even when you talked about more personal things. I'm so happy to have subscribed to you for a while now. As much as there's so much going on in the world & how scary it all is, i always feel reminded of the littlest things by you. Literally every word you said was refreshing & calming to hear. Thank you for being so personal & so real in your content. As you said, even though we don't know you entirely, I still feel a sense of community & relatability from you. Thank you for the advice, for always being inspiring, & thought provoking. 歹 much love~

  20. Annabelle's so important that you hold your shit just to watch all the video (in a laptop obv). Commenting while…..

  21. Omg Im so psyched you read my comment about Tyler Cam. I always thought the segments were really cool and the fact that you picked it out of a sea of comments meant so much to me. I felt my heart fill with happiness so thank you so much.

  22. When she said I think it will be very natural when its time for CatCreature to say goodbye it made me so so sad, Ill miss Annabelle so effin much. YouTubers that are so personal like you, become our best friends because we know you so well now and relate to you and you make us happy. Its like saying goodbye to a good friend

  23. This vid is so refreshing to watch as a student! Its comforting to know that so many uni students (esp Annabelle) go through similar crossroads (not having everything figured out, reconsidering your degree, questioning your environment/friends, etc.)
    Its so timely that Annabelle released this at the beginning of the new year when the constant motto is new year new me. This shows that its ok to still have fears + sometimes having to trust the process, but not feel forced to get ur sh*t together immediately. We can do it yall! 歹

  24. eating cookies while watching this. Love videos like this from you!!! Take care, Annie!

    Your dad is so sweet i'm crying 凌歹

  25. Whenever I watch your videos i feel like i'm listening to a older sister. I'm an only child so that's a very special feeling. The career advice that u gave was very comforting. I'm in college too and my plans change everyday. U helped me feel less anxious about planners tho. It kinda makes me feel nice that u have grown up watching bubz, because i have too.

  26. Thank you so much for uploading!! I am in the process of transferring from a 4-year uni to another one. My stress level is next level high but watching your videos just helps… It feels like a warm friend just talking to me about her life. Annabelle you are so inspiring and introspective. Love <3

  27. I say don't pressure yourself for identity, because then you're not pressured to make changes, so you don't crave for the things that your head is telling you. Never thought that I could go a meal without meat, but since I started to cut down the amount of food that I eat, I started to explore a variety of foods especially veggies, and without me noticing, sometime I'm just too lazy/forget to heat the meat after I cooked my veggies, and I felt fine.

    I don't think that I will cut out meat all together, but instead I chose to be more conscious in other aspect of living, and try to make a change there. It's the kind of freedom that I enjoy because I don't worry about trying to become this identity.

  28. I can see the effort you're putting into being unapologetically yourself, even though it seems like a tough period of time for you. I felt inspired to personally do better, so thank you

  29. thank you for sharing this! i really value hearing your thoughts, experiences, and insight. its really like listening to a cool, smart older sis <3

  30. Thank you Annabelle! I always love your q&a talking videos I feel so much calmer now It's like taking a step back and realizing it's okay see you're not alone people are struggling too even on the other side of the world! Just hearing your perspective on these type of things helps me a lot tehe Love from Germany

  31. I 100% agree with what you said about texting, I've never been much if a texter but not many of my friends like calls. I like to just have the conversation and get on with my day

  32. I wish I could go without technology as long as you do! Im a computer science major so thats not gonna happen, but Ive been telling myself for the last couple months that this semester Im going to have more hobbies like painting, embroidery, etc. And Im so excited about it. Ive always wanted to be an artsy kid but I grew up (and still am this way) where I didnt want to use any art supplies I got in fear of running out and not being able to buy more. Now I have some cheap gouache and metallic paint that Im so excited for and I know that I can buy more if I run out

  33. Really everytime I watch your videos I feel like crying because they just fill me with so much love and understanding, thank you so much!

  34. & I was so happy about ur choice of youtubers, because expect two I knew and love all of them and it was just nice to see other people appreciate them too

  35. you're always interesting to me and you always voice me thoughts exactly out loud.. things that i dont everrr talk about
    thank you, annabelle

  36. Thank you so much for opening up to us as a community and sharing your vulnerabilities and experiences. For the past couple of years I feel like I've learnt so much from you and your personal growth journey has made me reflect on myself and question a lot of my behaviours. These honest talk videos you create always seem to stick with me, so I just want to say thank you for having the courage to speak your truth

  37. I love how you took this Q&A seriously and answered openly and honestly. It certainly gave me more perspective on you as a person and made you more relatable. Thanks for sharing your life with us. 歹歹歹

  38. My bed from IKEA has really unstable beams too & falls through all the time, what my mum did (very smart), was to purchase another set of beams from IKEA and doubled the set of beams below my mattress (by closing the gaps between the beams so theyre all side by side). Which really helped in the support & anxiety of beams falling through when you get on the mattress, it doesnt fall through anymore!!

    Absolutely love you and your aesthetic btw, your videos calm me so much, especially the ones with your cats 歹綽

  39. It is note the tones that determine what life is, but the notes.

    The tone and timbre is in the air, the notes are on the score sheet.

    But who's keeping score?

  40. Omg, my favorite place in my school building was this area in the second basement that had a mural of a non-white (brown – possibly Latino) man who was in a business suit, and all the characters around him seemed to be telling some type of story. I think the man was who the building got named after. I always sat there and felt good about my race I guess??? But one day, they painted over the whole mural with an ugly green. But I still sat there.

  41. I love your channel! I hope some day my vlogs Can be as aesthetically pleasing as yours! Sending warm wishes and hugs!

  42. When you said When its time for CatCreature to say goodbye… I was like 朮朮 hit with an unexpected wave of emotions because I realised just how much I treasure and have learned from your videos and how they have comforted me in both the happy and the hard times歹 Sending much love on your journey, and Ill be here looking forward to your every adventure!

  43. This felt like an older cousin/sister was talking about her life so far. Im the oldest in my family, so seeing videos where I can have a pseudo-older sibling keeps me sane and hopeful for the future.

    Thank you for your time, Annabelle

  44. i relate so much by how i want to journal a lot of things, but at the same time i don't have the patience to do it tidily. so if anyone ever see my journal, they wouldn't understand a thing bcs basically my mind is so messy lol

  45. Its funny because Annabelle says she has nothing to be proud of and I watch her videos and see her as such an inspiration. Cant really wrap my mind on the fact that we are the same age. But I have a totally different background (& country) and I do feel what she says about uncertainty about a major. Also about working on hurt to become more loving and not have that ugliness. This really touched me as I too was once very bitter but nowadays most people perceive me as optimistic and uplifting. But Im still very pessimistic about myself, I just try not to let that get to others. This comment is all over the place but her videos make me reflect about so many things.

  46. I love that you admit that you had a lot of ugliness in your character. I currently deal with the same, and managing that balance of trying to not be triggered by the stuff that triggers and also giving myself compassion, acceptance, and validation for feeling this way, is really a load of work. Its not easy…feeling hurt by your envy/anger/ugly parts and then beating yourself up about it. Its really nice that youre past that stage though. Hoping I pass it too.

  47. Great video! I often wonder about the impact divorce has on children. My parents stayed married for 50+ years but they fought all the time — it was a huge power struggle of "you don't make me happy so you better make me happy or I will leave you!". In turn, they created a very toxic environment for me and my siblings — none of us trusted them to act in our best interests, and they didn't. My siblings and I each grew a protective shell that others have interpreted as being cold and aloof. I been accused of being cold and unloving as well as too forgiving and accepting in my relationships with people (friends, family, co-workers, lovers, etc.). I personally do not believe I am unloving and cold but it is true that I am sometimes clueless and a bit wrapped up in my own interests to notice when I am needed. I am capable of loving scarifies for infants, young children. and young adults — those that need the guidance and protection of experienced adults (something to which I am sensitive to since I did not have it for myself). I also believe I have a moral obligation to be kind and considerate to all people and generally I do so with a great deal of happiness but sometimes things go wrong and I miss the mark. I do forgive people (like my parents) because I didn't know them and to hold a grudge for a past that cannot be changed a waste of energy. I live by the adage "You fooled me once, shame on you – you fooled me twice, shame on me" which can be an inconvenient thing of some people that have been in my life. I always strive to do better for those that are important to me or for those who I feel I can help in a positive way. But to sacrifice my self-worth as measure of my love for someone is crazy-making. I stand my ground against competent and healthy adults who feel it is my job to make them happy. The balance between love of self and love of others is something I struggle with everyday.

  48. I know this was so long ago but do u think u will ever release those sweatshirts u made for a second time? it was yellow with cats on them I love ur designs and I know ur dreams will come true whatever u decide 儭

  49. I had a very similar problem with my bed from ikea too. Eventually, I just ended up using a hammer and a few nails to lock some of the boards in place, and it seemed to solve the problem for me.

  50. Inspire change! Exactly. You are wonderful <3 hedgehogs would be adorable mouse sized. Maybe thats cheating, but it was the first thing that came to mind.

  51. i remember asking you if you'd consider going into sustainable fashion a few years ago and then the answer was negative, how cool! it's sweet to see your perspective change and to change along with you myself. all the best on your journey

  52. Im doing long distance in a similar manner when it comes to time frame. Im still in high school and my boyfriend is starting college. The main difficulty is not knowing when it will end.

  53. always love to hear your thoughts! The whole thing about being lost after art school is more common than I thought it would be… your opinions reassured my own so thank you for that <3 I also find it hard to use nice notebooks or sketchbooks for the exact same reason lol I'll be rooting for you and hope you work out what you want to do in the art world!

  54. Id totally love to hear more stories about you and Tyler and your family dynamic growing up, most people dont talk about the more painful parts of life but i enjoy how realistic and true you are.

  55. i know its a pretty random question for now but, will your yellow crewneck ever be available again? loved the video as always tho! <33

  56. My boyfriend and me are 7years apart, but our birthdays are also only days apart., haha. No, but honestly I think that once you are older than 20 'little' age gaps up to 10 years don't reaaaally matter. But it totally depends on the person, of course, but we have a similar balance than yours! I would say I'm also quite mature, while he definitely hasn't lost his playful younger side

  57. 'a lot has changed and that includes me' really hit me. // beautiful video, annabelle <3 i enjoyed it sooo much! & i am gonna check out those channels you listed

  58. the part at the end about your (step)dad keeping you guys company… i got so emotional. gosh, i really like him. don't know much about him ofc but from what i've seen/heard, i am just grateful to hear there are good dads out there. that's a beautiful thing to know.

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