HOW TO BE SOCIAL – HOW TO NEVER RUN OUT OF THINGS TO SAY


One of the biggest obstacles you may face
when trying to meet new friends, or new people in general, is the awkward silence. Encountering this situation is so uncomfortable
that it can even force you to avoid meeting new people in the first place. Luckily there is a way to get around it. Today we will discuss how filtering, threading
and the pratfall effect can influence your conversations and transform you into talkable
and likeable person, so be sure to watch the video to the very end. Without further ado lets get started. First I need you to understand why awkward
moments happen? When you feel like you’ve run out of things
to say with strangers, you actually haven’t. You’ve simply run out of things that have
passed your internal filter of “things good enough to say to a stranger” This is a common behavior, the habit of filtering—holding
back from saying something until you’ve “checked” with yourself to make sure that
what you’re about to say is cool, impressive, smart, and interesting. And this habit can really hinder your ability
to develop your communication skills. So how do we fix it? Fixing it is pretty darn simple it just requires
deliberate practice to remove the filter. This is the reflex that allows you to say
whatever goes on in your mind. So no more filtering, no checking with yourself
“would I sound cool if I say this?” None of that! Start to practice this ‘no filtering approach’
with people you kinda know and are not total strangers at first. It’s fun to realize that you’re allowed
to say whatever is on your mind, and that is totally okay. As long as you don’t say anything extremely
inappropriate that could land you in jail, you’ll be just fine! People don’t care too much about how “awesome”
what you’re saying is, because they’re too focused on their own filters and thoughts. The second very powerful technique I want
to talk about is Threading. Threading is essentially branching off the
conversation in different directions. For example if you get a response like “I
went to London last year to intern for 6 months” You could ask if they liked London, which
company they went to, what is their field of work, or you could shift the focus of the
conversation, you could respond with “Really? I went to London last year too” or “I like
to visit London one day, I love traveling!”. You could continue the conversation in multiple
ways using the threads that are provided, for example continue talking about London,
talk about the company or field of work, or maybe talk about your own internship experiences
– you could literally talk for hours starting from that simple response. Just be creative and remember the first technique
to remove your filter when talking with them. If you want you can stop the video here, because
those 2 techniques alone will make a drastic change in your conversations, but I will give
you a third psychological tip that you can use to literally make yourself instantly more
likeable and easy to talk to. It’s called the Pratfall Effect. And it states that your likeability increases
if you aren’t perfect. When people see that you are not perfect and
you make a mistake you appear more human, more like others and so more likeable. People who are perfect can seem threatening,
but people who are imperfect are safe and hence easier to truly like. If you want to be liked and easy to talk to,
make mistakes sometimes (or just admit to error), but do it in context where it’s safe,
don’t do it in front of your boss thinking he will like you more. You’ll just get yourself fired. The beauty in these tips is that they work
together perfectly. When you remove your filter, you will say
things that come on top of your head, and you will make mistakes and blunders. By doing so the Pratfall Effect will start
to do its magic, people will like you more and they will open up easier because you seem
more human, they will talk more giving you more threads and branches that you can lead
the conversation into. More branches lead to deeper conversations
and increased likeability. It’s a cycle where it only gets easier and
easier. The main thing I want you to get out of this
video, is that you shouldn’t get stuck inside your head thinking that the world will end
if you say something silly, it won’t, it will barely get noticed because people have trouble
with their own confidence, filters and thoughts. Just talk about what you want to talk about,
crack a joke if you feel like it, don’t try to appear perfect, because no one is and I
assume being one would be lonely and no fun at all. I hope the video helped you in any way, if
it did you can always click the like button. Anyway thanks for watching and I’ll see you
next time.

100 Replies to “HOW TO BE SOCIAL – HOW TO NEVER RUN OUT OF THINGS TO SAY”

  1. This video was in my Youtube recommended page…

    I have no problem finding things to say. I intentionally try to say nothing… all the time. Messes people up.

    Returning to my nap now… dreaming of a world where everyone is talking to everybody else. Except me.

    Oh, wait… that’s my waking nightmare…. never mind.

  2. Don't forget some of us are socio/psychopaths. Sometimes its just best we filter at least 99% of our thoughts otherwise a lot of us would end up getting fired, thrown in jail, or thrown in the looney bin.

  3. I didnt know saying something “inappropriate” can lend you in jail? What country are we talking about exactly a Nazi Germany or what?

  4. I want to talk to a girl I like she’s my “friends” ex girl friend known her for about a 2 and a half years, he got expelled for being a druggie who gets stabbed, also she hates him now, I have not learnt anything and will continue to be socially awkward, just venting

  5. I can do the branch one perfectly.
    But removing the filter and appearing imperfect is DAMN hard. I have 1 good friend and 2 or 3 not so close.
    AND NONE OF THEM IS IN MY CLASS.

  6. That's not really what the Pratfall effect is. It is the adjustment of our likability (either up OR DOWN) after we make a mistake. If we are seen as highly competent and perfect, making a mistake makes us more likable, but if we are simply seen as average (or even below average), making a mistake makes us seem LESS likable.

  7. "Say whatever is on your mind"
    Yeah last time I tried that I said that if I was a celebrity I would use my billions to pillage Africa and give them jobs pillaging their own towns

  8. This is great and all. But if you're getting g 1 word responses, none of these work. Any tips for exciting someone to talk to you?

  9. I made a short video about people being on their phones and not talking u might enjoy https://youtu.be/5hDwhVZAhWc

  10. I just go up to strangers and tell them
    Hey, yeah you, look , 3 years from now really think about it, just say no ok. (Actually know their name so them completely flip out) tell Amy No. 😂

  11. Remove the filter. This mental picture has helped me incredibly!!! I have always noticed myself filtering.

  12. A tip from how to talk to anyone book is to repeat the last couple of words they said to you and they will keep talking about it

  13. I am antisosial and i am gamers i play minecraft,roblox,pacifik,dota 2 mobile,legends,aov and else do i am just who a antisosial and always get awkard moments at talk to girl and freinds?

  14. I just don’t know how to start the conversation, and normally it’s the other person who’s giving dry responses that have no potential for continuing the convention, I’d like to find a way of discovering what they’re interested in and have them actually talk more than a few words at a time

  15. this seemed like a really helpful video. I almost never have anything to say during a conversation, and this gave me a few tips on that. thank you for giving me this

  16. I never thought that I wasn’t social.. But one day my sisters said that I replied boring to one of my friends and from that day on I’m always nervous around people and have trouble with talking with others, but my sisters don’t know it.. I hope this video helps me:)

  17. I'm good at conversation if I have a topic. But other than that, expect me to say:
    -Hi
    -Hello
    -Whats up?
    -How's life?
    -How's your day?

  18. Great, you showed my own problem. But what should I do about my feelings, I'm a very shy person and whenever i come up with something, i have a frog in my throat

  19. I never run out of shit to say, but I’m super shy and worry that my topics are boring, but still, I still say whatever because I hate awkward silences. But be careful what you say. Some people have no filter and really insult you

  20. But I just wonder why Hong Kong people are so loud funny and talkative ?? 🙄 I wish I'm from Hong Kong :((

  21. i feel a great sense of freedom like i can say anything i want after writing notes on this vidio and revising them im no longer worried about what to say he solved my filtering problen no wonder why i was so bad at comunicating thankyou so much i feel like everytime i talk rainbows come out cus im just that goooood bruh.amazing vidio im gonna go make some friends. wish me good luck

  22. Long story short. Stop overthinking things people wont judge you. They will, however, pick at you if they realize something you said that you wish you didn’t gets to you.

  23. Sometimes you are not socially awkward maybe your society is awkward and you dont seel to notice like people always talk about the last thing happend in your country official TV show and you dont watch that all the time you will remain silent,or they talk about football and some crap…but when you talk about a Netflix show like Lucifer or ask about rolex watch and why does it cost 13k$ or anything that they dont know about they all say idk remain silent or go back to their main stupid conversation

  24. None of these r helping. I’m funny with my friends and I’m just me when I’m with them, but can’t talk to anyone else. U see I do have a crush and it’s childish but I want to fucking talk to him but I haven’t said a single word to him besides thank u or hi. Any tips?

  25. Videos like this give me so much confidence because for a long time, my shyness and awkwardness, inability to talk to others has seemed impossible to cure. I was a lot more open today than yesterday, and my dream is finally becoming a reality. This is not permanent and I’m so glad it’s just a phase of my life and not the ending to my story! There is HOPE!💕

  26. What happens if you have dead silent moments when you take your wife out for dinner or entertainment. Does it mean spark is dead.

  27. I just realized this is so true when I talk to women I think about what to say but what is the point I’m better off saying what I want and just make myself happy than trying to not run out of words with someone.

  28. Why am I here?
    I'm massively introverted and I'm pretty sure that I have social anxiety. I don't just start a conversation out of the blue.

  29. the prob with me is that i kinda stutter while speaking both my african language n english n when i speak english n stutter a bit i kinda feel like i didnt use a word correctly, try fixing it by repeating then all hell goes loose😂 i got an A in English IGCSE n passed a lot of people i talk to so everytime i make a mistake im gon bring up the fact i got an A in English😂😂😂😂😂😂😂🤣🤣

  30. filter is the obligation for having qualified conversation. i think you can only remove the filter when with your close friends. otherway i can't resist to exuberance.

  31. I’m literally crying over the fact that I’ve been looking up how to be confident, social and not shy. I wish I didn’t have to look that up, these videos aren’t even helping me 😭

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